A Jewish wedding ceremony is the most fulfilling celebration of love.  An incredibly joyous occasion, it the joining of a man and a woman together in a covenant with each other and with G-d, as Jewish men and women have been doing for centuries.  For while it may indeed be a beautiful and eventful social arrangement, marriage in the Jewish tradition is also the fulfillment of a mitzvah, the spiritual joining of two people in a miracle: a single soul residing in two bodies.  The momentous day is not only an occasion to commemorate the love and commitment of a man and a woman, but also to place the couple into an historical context, a most poignant integration of celebration and memory.

The initial stages of the wedding ceremony revolve around the signing of the ketubah, a beautifully intricate marriage contract.  While the presence of two adult practicing Jewish male witnesses is required, the couple’s rabbi, families, and close friends are also included in the intimate event as the groom signs.  Written in Aramaic, the ketubah is luxuriously ornamented and details the responsibilities that a Jewish husband has for his wife, including obligations to support her in cases of divorce or death.  Before signing, the groom holds in his right hand a handkerchief given to him by the rabbi, lifts it, and returns it as a symbolic gesture known as kinyan sudar, or the “purchase through a shawl,” which signifies his acceptance of his newfound obligations. According to tradition, once the contract is signed, those present make toasts for the bride and groom.  The ketubah is then taken aside until its reappearance during the public ceremony as a gift to the bride.  Due to the beauty of the document, both visually and symbolically, most couples choose to have their ketubah framed and displayed in their new home once they begin their new life together.

Once the ketubah has been signed, the groom’s next task is to greet his bride in a tradition known as bedecken, or “veiling.” Historically bedecken is an official claim that the groom makes on his bride, whom he has not seen for a week prior to the ceremony.  Surrounded by her family and close friends, the bride awaits her love, usually in a specially chosen chair of honor.  The groom enters into her chambers with her father and a group of other male guests, and declares her as his beloved, his bride.  Once his claim is made, the groom adorns her with a beautiful veil to cover her face.

Soon it is time for the bride and groom to participate in the most public piece of the marriage, their vows beneath the chuppah.  Consisting of a cloth strung between poles, the chuppah acts as a canopy, often carried ceremoniously and set up by attendants.  The chuppah, a roof with four open walls, represents the hospitality of Abraham and Sarah, as well as the intention of the newlyweds to always extend warm welcome to all who pass their way.   The groom is accompanied to the chuppah by his family, whose presence symbolizes the sequence of generations and continuity. Under the canopy the groom awaits his bride, who soon follows with members of her own family.  As she greets her love, the bride traditionally circles him in a gesture that represents the protection their love provides, as well as her promise to bind her heart and soul to his.  In some ceremonies, the mothers of the bride and groom will also circle him to ward off evil and represent the beginnings of a new family circle.  Once in place, the bride, groom, and all who are gathered listen as the rabbi lifts a glass of wine and offers blessings upon the couple; first a blessing of thanks, next a blessing of betrothal.  The man and woman then take the cup and sip the wine in an acknowledgement and promise before exchanging rings.  As they place the rings upon each other’s fingers, each recites in Hebrew the following statement: “With this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife/husband in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.”  The signed ketubah is then produced and read aloud to the bride and all assembled as a public statement of the groom’s devotion and duty.

The seven blessings, or sheva becharot, are statements of praise and blessing that celebrate the joy of union but are also intended to remind the bride, groom, and all gathered, that a rich history precedes their love.  The happy couple may be individually unique and even unique as friends and lovers; however, the bond that they share is a bond of love that has existed since the beginning of time.  Thus, five of the blessings spoken pertain to praises for all of G-d’s blessings: the fruit of the vine, for the universe and its creation to glorify G-d, for humanity, for the miracle of birth, and for the creation of man and woman in G-d’s image. The last two blessings are expressed as specific thanks for bringing the bride and groom together, as well as requests for joy and fruitfulness for the bride and groom in the years to come.

Upon concluding the seven blessings, the bride and groom share a glass of wine.  Once finished, the groom steps on the glass, shattering it with his foot.  In the midst of the greatest celebration, the groom does this as a reminder that while he and his new wife are in the first stages of building a new home and creating a new life together, there still exists evil and destruction in the world.  Specifically the shattering glass is a symbol of the profound sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.   Even in a moment of greatest joy, Jerusalem is placed above all celebration, as according to the Psalmist’s injunction.  In so doing, the bride and groom acknowledge their identification with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people.

As the guests assemble to begin the post-ceremonial festivities, the bride and groom are led to the yichud, a private room where they can take a few moments to rest and share with each other in the excitement of the day’s events.  This room and respite symbolize the new home that will soon be shared by the couple.  After a short while, the newly wed couple makes their way to the reception to be greeted and congratulated by friends and family.